by developmentaliste

Reality can make or break you. According to the dictionary definition, “reality is the state of things as they actually exist” (Oxford Dictionary). So realistically speaking, you are only in control of yourself, never the outcomes of your actions and your statements.

Since you can only control yourself, your actions and statements. You can only do what you have to do to get ahead. In some cases you simply have no idea what to do and make an uninformed decision. Throughout life we are told many things which we for some reason either choose to do, or not to do. Many things are just plain common sense to do that is, if you understand what is required. Other things are just plain ego to do or not to do. Basically, your ego is doing the decision making.

As far as decision making is concerned as human beings we are a superior creation. Our brain allows us to think about the why, what, ifs and buts of life, our actions and directions. Our brain enables us to rationalize. Maybe this is where Nietzche’s statement “I think therefore I am” comes from.

Alongside our cranial capacities, we also have free will. We have the choice to do one thing instead of another. Through free will we can either choose to do right or wrong, or nothing at all. I have often heard there is no such thing as black or white, right or wrong. Everything is grey and you just have to do what you have to do to make it work for you. Ethics, morality, conscientiousness, or whatever you may label it, is for people who don’t know how to make things work for them. As they are unable to make anything work for them, like their network or their efforts, it is irrelevant how competent or capable they are because it’s never really about the work, the output and your contributions to an organization. If you’re not liked, you’re simply not good enough. It is in this scenario the grey area comes in. In order to become liked, sacrifices have to be made. However, for some  the sacrifices required to make, were never worth the outcome. Some may have given up on so many opportunities for happiness and enjoyment, and been tempted enough only to be disappointed afterwards that by now they know a bad deal when they see one. Reality teaches you to negotiate for your terms and conditions and to stand up for yourself. Reality requires you to do so.

You should always hope for things to get better and even when they don’t, as long as you have the strength to make the best out of a bad situation, you have still learnt your lesson. This has nothing to do with being negative. Being realistic is not negative, it is seeing things for what they are and hoping for the best outcome while trying your best. It is also about being confident in yourself and your abilities. Being positive and hoping for a good outcome when all you’re getting is abuse, exploitation or rejection in return, is naïve and frankly stupid. It is like trying to read without even knowing the alphabet. In this case it’s better to try out other pastures, grow from your previous lessons and expose yourself to new situations, for better or worse.

Reality teaches you to apply your knowledge. It enables you to experiment with ideas and concepts in the real world. More importantly, it shatters contextual ignorance and the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side. There is simply no room left to make uninformed decisions. It’s in this connection free will is similar to an opt-out clause in a bulletproof contract or abusive situation because you have the choice to stay or leave.

Free will reminds us that things are black and white. Someone told me that those who claim everything is grey do so to justify their negative agendas and lies. Nevertheless, even if everything is grey, because it really is a matter of perspective, free will enables us to make things black and white, depending on what path we choose to go down. Free will reminds us that we do have a choice either to try to make things work for us on an individual level. Or to try and make things right to the benefit of everyone because in the end we are collective beings who need the company of others.